Shopping for school supplies is an unpleasant task. Each year I head to Target, with the kids, and each year it blows. I don't dislike buying supplies for schools, I dislike taking my kids along on this errand. Why? Because the list is pages long, there are now two lists, and my kids act like maniacs. Every year.
I need silence. Concentration. Time. I get none of these things plowing that huge double cart around with a 7 and 4 year old. Obviously.
They should really be left at home, under the care of a rational adult. But, they weren't and we all suffered. Meaning, all of Target.
A few years back I learned a trick. I let each kid pick out one folder that is just for them and can be kept in their backpack. They get to choose which character they like and feel some ownership in the school supply shopping process. In the past, they would stare at the folder for many minutes, distracted just long enough to allow me to grab some items from the list. It was an inexpensive ploy to help me survive the trip.
This year, Henry picked a spider man folder and Isabelle went for my little pony. Fine.
Wrong. They started by throwing the folders at one another. I warned them. Then, the folders became light sabers. I warned them again. Then, they just started to bend them in half and Isabelle licked hers. Then, I took them away and told the kids the folders were staying at Target. Luckily, I was on my way to the check out line by this point.
I saw it happen. I glimpsed the look in Isabelle's eyes and knew I had a choice: give her the folder back and there would be peace or, not back down and deal with hell. Well. I'm really tired of getting punked by my four year old so I didn't back down. And neither did she.
"I want my folder back!"
"Give me that folder!"
Scream (as in, the loudest possible. it was heard all through Target)
"Give meeeeee that folder!"
"You are mean and rude!"
"I want dad! Drop me off to him now!"
Scream (just as loud)
"Mom, make her stop!" (Henry, while plugging his ears)
"I need a Kleenex!!"
"Get me that folllllder!"
Scream
Repeat all of the above statements and screams two to three times and there you have it: school supply shopping. It totally sucked. But, I was calm as I paid for my items, reminding Isabelle that throwing fits does not pay off. I gathered the items, handed the cashier the folders we were no longer purchasing, put my head down, and started pushing the cart. I felt the tears rising, but kept pushing ahead. Then, I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. I looked up as a woman said to me:
"Do you have sunglasses with you? Put those on. I find it makes me feel less humiliated by the stares and glares as I'm racing to leave. And, if you need to have a good cry in the car, the kids won't see that they've driven you to tears. Chin up."
She walked away before I could respond. I put my sunglasses on, lifted my head, and pushed the cart of screams out to the car. Once buckled, I did start to cry. But, not because of Isabelle. Because of the kindness. Her remarks made me feel human again and made me feel like less of a failure. She showed me kindness when I needed to feel kindness and it made all of the difference.
So, here's the takeaway:
1. don't school supply shop with kids. leave them at home. always.
2. kindness is real. be kind to people.
