Beautiful Problems

I'm turning 35 sixteen days from now. It feels like a strange age and I'm not sure why. 30 felt weird too and I'm wondering how 40 will present. I guess it feels more important than 34, but not because I feel old. I think it may be because of where I'm at with life things. I'm pretty certain some changes will take place this year and they happen to coincide with this funny feeling I have about turning 35. 

Our youngest daughter, Isabelle, will turn five in April and enter kindergarten in September. This means I will reenter the workforce after staying at home for five years. Before staying home I was a middle school teacher. I'm not certain I will return to teaching right away, but I have no other plan. It's unsettling. I don't love this feeling. 

We also really need to sell our home. I'm turning 35 and we are still in our "starter" home. Now, with two children and growing amounts of stuff, we need to finish. I guess the unknowns that come with selling a home and buying a new one leave me unsettled. I don't love this feeling. 

But, when I throw on my "perspectacles" I see that these are beautiful problems to have. 

1. Nick and I worked really hard to figure out how I could stay at home until both kids entered school. That's amazing and so fortunate.

2. We have a home and the ability to try to sell it and start again. That's hopeful and not to be taken for granted. 

3. I've been given nearly 35 years. Beautiful.

I think it's okay to feel unsettled about my age, job, and my home. I think it means I will be pushed way beyond my comfort zone this year and I don't think that's all bad. I also think it's okay to challenge myself to be a better person. After reading a quote from a Facebook status today, I've made a decision:

"Kindness, like love, is salve and sustenance. It's magical too. You can give it away all day and never run out of it. "

Michael Kleber-Diggs

During my 35th year I am going to contribute to society and relationships by fulfilling 35 acts of kindness. By my birthday, I will make a list of 35 thoughtful ways I can spread kindness and I will spend the year fulfilling this promise. I'm inspired to do this for a few reasons. 

1. Katie Jones of Des Moines and former classmate, completed an act of kindness list for her 34th birthday. After reading about what she did (which was months ago) I really wanted to do the same. But, I couldn't bring myself to be as kind as Katie was and is. I'm ready now.

2. My family is my other inspiration. I tend to show kindness to strangers or acquaintances with ease and frequency.  I'm not sure I treat the people who live in my home or family tree with the same. I would like to devote more thought and kindness to those who mean the most to me. 

I feel inspired to do nice things everyday. I feel inspired to be a better person everyday. And, I feel so busy everyday and end up doing nothing. 

I would like that to change. 

 I would like to acknowledge that time is moving forward and change is inevitable. My hope is that I can use these moments of kindness to help me find balance and to keep my perspectacles clear and focused. 

The Conscience of a 7 Year Old

While driving last night, Henry told Nick and I that his friend, Danny "got a butt pear at school." When questioned about said butt pear he explained, "well, usually a pear is round on the bottom. but, today Danny's pear had a line down the middle like a crack so it looked like a butt. a butt pear." Obviously. 

When Henry told us this school tale he did so in a very matter of fact manner. He was just telling us what was on his mind and it was not related to anything that was happening at that moment. The mind of a seven year old is very interesting, very innocent. I love when Henry talks to me about what is really on his mind. Sometimes it is about butt pears, sometimes it is a bit more serious.

On the way home from school yesterday Henry, Isabelle, and I were discussing their school days and how it was too cold to have outdoor recess. We took the Maryland Avenue exit and were sitting at the red light. I looked to my left and noticed a man with a sign. The temperature reading on my car was -3 and the windchill was at least -15. I had a silent conversation with myself, wondering if I should look in my wallet and wave him over. I knew I had three dollars, but I continued to struggle with my conscience. Then, Henry spoke up from the backseat, "Mom! That man's sign says he needs help. Help him!" He was right. I called the man over and held out the three dollars. He reached for it with unmittened hands. I gave him mine, he said "God bless you," and we drove away.

It was just that easy. Henry's seven year old mind had no judgements about what the person's circumstances were or how the money would be spent. He saw someone asking for help and sought help. We had a conversation as we finished our drive home and I found myself explaining how important it is to be nice. When we can help, we help. When we can not, we hope someone else can. And, all without judgment because that is not our job. We all have bad days, weeks, years and have to ask for help. Maybe not by holding a sign by the highway, but we all need help and kindness at some point. I've asked for help many times and prayed that it would be given without judgment. I admire the non-judgmental conscience of my seven year old and I will always hear his voice say, "Mom! That man's sign says he needs help. Help him!" I will give some of what I have for absolutely nothing in return. I will show kindness. I will be nice. 

Update: 

After I wrote this blog post, my mother in law, Joni, mailed a package to my home. Inside I found a supply of brand new fleece gloves and hats. She included a note, "some to keep. some to give away." 

I first wrote this blog about a year ago and was reminded of its content and my mother in laws act of kindness when my good friend Heidi called me this morning. Heidi explained that she was just talking with a group of friends the other night about the blog and the importance of kindness. Additionally, she shared that she always thinks of the post and plans to buy some gloves and blankets to keep in her car for the winter season. Heidi urged me to share the blog again because it may inspire someone else to show compassion during this season of plenty. I am reminded of the quote from It's  a Wonderful Life:  "all you can take with you is that which you've given away." Heidi, this repost is dedicated to you and all of the kindness you share with the world.