Beautiful Problems

I'm turning 35 sixteen days from now. It feels like a strange age and I'm not sure why. 30 felt weird too and I'm wondering how 40 will present. I guess it feels more important than 34, but not because I feel old. I think it may be because of where I'm at with life things. I'm pretty certain some changes will take place this year and they happen to coincide with this funny feeling I have about turning 35. 

Our youngest daughter, Isabelle, will turn five in April and enter kindergarten in September. This means I will reenter the workforce after staying at home for five years. Before staying home I was a middle school teacher. I'm not certain I will return to teaching right away, but I have no other plan. It's unsettling. I don't love this feeling. 

We also really need to sell our home. I'm turning 35 and we are still in our "starter" home. Now, with two children and growing amounts of stuff, we need to finish. I guess the unknowns that come with selling a home and buying a new one leave me unsettled. I don't love this feeling. 

But, when I throw on my "perspectacles" I see that these are beautiful problems to have. 

1. Nick and I worked really hard to figure out how I could stay at home until both kids entered school. That's amazing and so fortunate.

2. We have a home and the ability to try to sell it and start again. That's hopeful and not to be taken for granted. 

3. I've been given nearly 35 years. Beautiful.

I think it's okay to feel unsettled about my age, job, and my home. I think it means I will be pushed way beyond my comfort zone this year and I don't think that's all bad. I also think it's okay to challenge myself to be a better person. After reading a quote from a Facebook status today, I've made a decision:

"Kindness, like love, is salve and sustenance. It's magical too. You can give it away all day and never run out of it. "

Michael Kleber-Diggs

During my 35th year I am going to contribute to society and relationships by fulfilling 35 acts of kindness. By my birthday, I will make a list of 35 thoughtful ways I can spread kindness and I will spend the year fulfilling this promise. I'm inspired to do this for a few reasons. 

1. Katie Jones of Des Moines and former classmate, completed an act of kindness list for her 34th birthday. After reading about what she did (which was months ago) I really wanted to do the same. But, I couldn't bring myself to be as kind as Katie was and is. I'm ready now.

2. My family is my other inspiration. I tend to show kindness to strangers or acquaintances with ease and frequency.  I'm not sure I treat the people who live in my home or family tree with the same. I would like to devote more thought and kindness to those who mean the most to me. 

I feel inspired to do nice things everyday. I feel inspired to be a better person everyday. And, I feel so busy everyday and end up doing nothing. 

I would like that to change. 

 I would like to acknowledge that time is moving forward and change is inevitable. My hope is that I can use these moments of kindness to help me find balance and to keep my perspectacles clear and focused.