Work: Just What I Needed

The Highland Grill in Saint Paul has always been a favorite. Nick and I dined there often when we lived in the neighborhood and we still make the drive over at least once a month. Great food. Great service. Great memories. The wait staff has remained pretty much the same since we first visited in 2004. So, if you want a job there it is pretty unlikely that a position will be open. 

About a month ago I decided I wanted to take on a part time job and in a restaurant. I used to host and serve at Red Lobster back in the day so I figured I might be able to find a position. I looked into positions at Highland Grill, but there were none. However, I learned that they are part of the Blue Plate company which was started by two servers at the Nicollet Island Inn- another favorite. The two servers have opened a new neighborhood restaurant every year since 1993. One such restaurant, Scusi, was hiring.

I was able to successfully secure employment at Scusi. I host, bus and am training to serve. I work evenings and one weekend shift where I get to interact with other adults, earn wages and tips, keep up in a fast paced environment, and feel really great about the local establishment where I am employed. 

I left my job as a teacher over four years ago to stay home with Henry and Isabelle. There are so many reasons I find joy and reward in my job as a mother and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. I feel very lucky to have this privilege and we all see the value that one parent at home brings to our family. But, here's some real talk: stay at home parenting can be pretty lonely and a bit isolating. It's possible to go days without talking to another adult except for Nick. 

I think the main issue was feeling as though my identity was defined by my children and not by my own experiences. I also really strive in immediate gratification situations and guess what? Like most jobs, raising children is a very thankless position. However, working in a restaurant provides the gratification I was looking for: provide service and receive a tip directly related to how well the job was done. Perfect. 

Life is all about balance and just weeks ago I was all out of wack. I was in search of something more and for now I think I've reset the balance. I'm able to have fun at work, feel as though I'm great at my job, and  find renewed joy in being a mom, a wife, and a valued employee. Scusi, I guess you're just what I needed. 

Back to School

Today:

First Grade:

Kindergarten:

Pre-K:

Preschool:

Today, Henry started 2nd grade. The above photographs evidence that we have sent Henry out on a first day of school 5 times. 5 times! But, I can't seem to get past the pain and worry each September to the joy of having freedom from my 7 year old. And, his freedom from me. 

I worry that he will not eat all of his lunch. I worry that someone will treat him poorly. I worry that he may not always use kindness toward others. I worry that someone will take him. I worry that someone will shoot up his school. Worry. Worry. Worry.

This anxiety makes it difficult to celebrate why school is so amazing and prohibits me from feeling the bliss of independence from my children. So, I thought about why we choose to send our kids to school each year and this is what I came up with as a result:

1. To learn. I can only teach my kids what I know. How limiting. When we allow our children to learn from others we open their minds to new ideas and perspectives.

2. To be a friend. Our kids need to know how to be a friend to others, how to be respectful, and how to value similarities and differences. This can not happen if I never let them leave our house.

3. To make friends. It is important for our kids to be able to choose their own friends, not just the ones we arrange play dates with on their behalf. They must learn what they value in a friend so that they can make choices that allow them to feel amazing and respected.

4. To gain independence. I basically want my kids with me all of the time because I trust myself more than others. However, I have to trust in the good of education and educators so that my kids can spend their school days away from me, enjoying independence and not dependence.

5. To make things better. We need active, engaged citizens to impact change and keep society moving in the right direction. We need people who can read and respond critically, speak with strong voices, and respect people of all backgrounds. I believe this happens in schools, in classrooms, in lunchrooms, on busses and in hallways. 

So, it seems like school is a pretty great idea and worrying isn't all that productive.  I salute all parents, educators, community stakeholders, and kids who are working hard today to keep our little friends safe and engaged. Your work is important to me. Your work is necessary.