Have you ever seen the cartoon program Max and Ruby? It's not quality television, but something Isabelle enjoys via nick jr. The two characters are rabbits and Max is Ruby's kid brother. They get into all types of tomfoolery, always learning some type of lesson by the end. The question I have is: where are their dang parents? Ruby is always watching after Max and just this morning she took him camping. I mean, there's no way I would just send Henry and Isabelle out camping. Alone. And I'm not that great of a mom. If asked, what would Ruby say about her parents, or lack there of? Would she feel resentful about her youth spent as a babysitter? What about Max? What would he have to say about this odd setup- a sister for a mom? How would their stories sound?
Last night I spent the evening at the Riverview Theater listening to stories about moms, parenting, and motherhood. I sat next to two beautiful friends with whom I share common parenting struggles and achievements. I stayed up late considering the stories, I dreamt about a few, and I woke up this morning relating my experience from last night to Max and Ruby. I knew then that I needed to write about "Listen To Your Mother." Here is a link to information about the show:
http://listentoyourmothershow.com/twincities/
The tag line for the production is "giving motherhood a microphone." One by one, ten women stood at the microphone and read a piece of their writing surrounding the topic of mothers and motherhood. It is like nothing I have ever experienced and my only regret from the evening is that I did not record each story to keep with me during the times motherhood leaves me feeling truly alone.
No one story mimicked my own experiences, but each had an element with which I could relate. I felt every moment of their happiness, sadness, anger and grief as if it were my own. One woman spoke about her struggle with eating and body image related to how her mother raised her. Another told of her journey raising three boys, going through divorce, and learning how to teach herself and her sons that showing emotion is the most important way to heal. One woman told us about loosing a child while another spoke about giving her child up for adoption, but then changing her mind and thus, her life. Another told us about the time her mother helped her with her own son when she broke her foot- how important it is to have your mom when you are a mom yourself. A mom told us about her transgender son and how she helped him to transition and another told us how she learned to truly see by raising her blind daughter.
I have not felt so connected to a group of women and men since studying at the university of Iowa in my women's studies minor, certain I was one step away from changing the face of feminism with my classmates. Last night I left the Riverview feeling certain that myself, plus the 500 audience members, could change the face of parenting just by understanding the stories we all share. Not as mothers, but as people. Because we all have our own unique stories surrounding motherhood- being a mom, having a mom, not having a mom. When we listen to each other's stories we find connection and that is why the evening held so much power. And, I salute and honor the ten readers for being brave enough to share their experiences in order to help us better understand our own.
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