Joy

A few years ago a Facebook friend shared a blog post she read about one woman's reflection on over coming alcoholism. I clicked on the blog and read the post, moved to tears by the last line of the author's recollection. I think about it every spring, right about now, when March is revealing its ugly weather truths:

"When you lay life and death right next to each other like that, like spring does, you see it more clearly: how violent god's love is; how risky his timing; and how close on the heels of despair joy starts to rise." 

I'm not real churchy or religious, but this quote holds new meaning for me with each year. I like to think that from despair joy rises and I have found truth in this every spring. Today the snow is falling even though it is March 24th. Despair. But, there are many examples of joy, of love, of hope- right on the heels of despair. Here's what I know:

1. I know that while someone may not buy our home today, I know someone will soon. There is joy and hope this spring because we will get a new beginning, a new home. 

2. I know that Isabelle made the staff at the coffee shop smile this morning when she drew a map for them on a Kleenex. She gave it to the "coffee cooker" and said, "this is a map. here is Mexico, here is All State and here is Canaka. i love Canaka." 

3. That the generosity of family can change your outlook on life and bring hope for the future.

4. I know that when I pick Henry up from school today he will run out of his classroom and give me a hug and then kneel down to hug and talk with Isabelle. He does this every day. 

5. That when time is spent with friends who truly understand and respect one another, it does not matter what the weather is doing outside because of the warmth in the room.

6. I know that you can't go to church to negotiate with god the sale of your home. It doesn't work- I tried it yesterday. But, you can ask for patience during the process and with that comes hope.

7. That a visit with my grandmother reminds me of all the good life has to offer.  While I miss my grandfather like crazy, especially when I leave my grandmother, I know that what is really important is to be present and kind to those who we have the privilege of knowing.   

I really hope the weather warms up soon. I would love to see blades of grass rather than dirty snow. I long for flowers and time at the park and walks outside with Nick. The joy, the hope, and the love comes from knowing this will all happen. Spring will come. Joy will rise.